what i must do
by Riska Azel
Summary: Heero has to do something that he isnt really sure he wants to do


I looked at him seeming for the first time. This has become a morning ritual of mine, almost as natural as showering and getting ready for work, but this morning isn't like every other morning. It still amazed me that, out of all the people in the world that he still choose me. I live for moments like this, it was dawn and my lover was still asleep, letting me study him to his hearts delight, because I knew when he woke that he wouldn't be able to. No, he moved too much, he was always in action, talking jumping around and so fourth. People say that it was a disease, something called ADD, but I would never want to change that about him, it is apart of him, something I love about him, and I would never even think about 'fixing' it, and I use that term loosely. Then the alarm goes off, stopping my musings, I truly hate that damn machine more than anything at moments like this. I mean all is peaceful then bam! an deafen screech breaks the silence. I slam my fist down on the clock and wait for the inevitable.  
I feel him shift against me and I see his eyes open, the eyes that seem to look through all my masks and see right into my soul. He told me once that he felt the same way about my eyes when I looked at him, maybe it's because what we have is true love. Not maybe, defiantly. I could loose myself in those violent eyes, drown in them and never want to come back up for air.  
"Morning lover, how long have you been awake?" you ask as you do every morning. You get up from our embrace, leaving me feeling cold. I repress the urge to grab you and drag you back into bed, but I know that you, we, have to get up. Contrary to popular belief, you really don't take your responsibilities lightly, but if more people knew that then you wouldn't be able to hide behind your joker's mask, as easily, now would you. Even after all these years, and even though the war has for what seems eons ago, you still feel the need to hide from even our closes friends, and sometimes even me.  
"Not long," I answer, always the same answer, getting out of the warm bed myself.  
"I get first shower," he screams then races for the bathroom, like he does every morning. I, still sitting on the edge of the bed, just smile. I get up, walk towards the kitchen and begin the process of making coffee. By the time I have poured my first cup, Duo joins me in the kitchen. No matter how many times he does it, it still always surprises me that Duo can be in and out of the shower in less than 15 min. with that hair of his. I finish my cup of coffee and go take a shower, as I do every morning.  
In the shower I wonder if he can feel it, if he can sense the change in the atmosphere, if he knows that after today nothing will ever be the same. In more ways than one, I hope not, but he is very perceptive of these kinds of things. Anyway I finish up with my shower and I walk into my room. I get dressed in my Preventer's uniform and take something from my dresser. I can feel the weight of it in my hand and surprisingly it gives me the strength needed to carry out with my mission.  
After today, Duo, you will be with no one but me. Do you understand? I look down at my hand and am once again amazed, that after so long of not having it with me how natural it feels, the weight, the fit, everything about it. It also brings back memories, some good, some bad but most of them are just that, memories.  
"Hey, what's taking you so long, we're going to be late for work if you don't hurry your ass up!" I hear Duo yell from his spot in the kitchen. I think, if he hasn't already, knows that something is up. I should go to him, before he figures out what I'm about to do.  
I walk to towards the kitchen, but stop before I go inside. I look down at my hand and wonder, not for the first time, if I'm doing the right thing. I take a shaky breath, and before I have a chance to change my mind, I walk into the kitchen. I see you, turned away from me, still drinking your coffee. I walk towards you till I'm right behind you and stretch out my hand till my object is right next to your head. I was wrong, you don't expect this, do you, my love?  
"Like I said, we're..." your sentence trails off as you turn around to me your eyes catching on what is pointed at your face. Your eyes widen and feel with tears. I see disbelief in those perfect eyes of your, and I smirk. Believe it love, because nothing is more real then this moment now. This moment which will change my, and your life forever.  
Your mouth opens and closes a few times, your eyes silently pleading with me and my smirk widens, just barley, in to a full blown smile. Do you know that you are the only one who can actually make me smile? Well, you are. I look at you once more, burning your image into my memory for all time. Then I drop to one knees and look up at you, pleading with you with my own eyes, to forgive all my past wrong and love me for who I am today and who I was in my past.  
"Duo?" I ask as gently as I could, "w- will..." got don't lose it now. I feel a tear drop from my eye, hoping that I'm doing the right thing. The look on your face strengthens my resolve. I start again.  
"Duo, will you marry me?" I ask. You take gaze from the box in my hand and look into my eyes. Your eyes glisten with unshed tears, you look shocked for a moment and I fear that your answer is 'no' but that is only for a moment, for the next thing I knew I was on the floor with you on top of me, kissing me quite thoroughly. When you are done I look up at you, your bruised lips and your passion glazed violent eyes and all I can think is, 'beautiful'.  
"So I'll take that as a yes?" I say in a slightly amused tone. You look at me shocked, then, as if a light bulb went off, understanding and excitement over come you features again.  
"Yes, yes. God yes. Did I not say yes? Because I would love to marry you, Heero Yuy." You say.  
"Let's get up, or we'll be late for work." I say. We both get up and continue on with our day as normal, except Duo has a new ring on his finger and both of us just can't seem to wipe this silly smile off of our faces. 


End file.
